Health Wisdom Seeker T-Shirts

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Nonsense, Mr. Turpin - you're as wealthy as an ox."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

Cures for the void.

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"You call that complementary!?!"

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'You mean that carrying around this heavy weight belly 24 hours a day isn't enoght exercise, doc?!'

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'