Health-seeker With A Twist T-Shirts

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"You call that complementary!?!"

Cures for the void.

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

'You mean that carrying around this heavy weight belly 24 hours a day isn't enoght exercise, doc?!'

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

Second Opinion

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'