Health Junkies Gifts

"The trick is to bite them just after they've been to the gym: You get good, well oxygenated blood..."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Can I still do my pilates?"

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

Health

Apocalliptical

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

M.D. The problem with your constitution is you've abused the pursuit of happiness.

Woman with exercise bike

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

'I'll have a two mile run, 150 sit ups and a side of weight training.'

Gym workout.

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

'All I'm saying, Sweetheart, is that maybe you're not quite ready for the advanced yoga class!'

'I'd recommend you cut back on the vitamin C supplements'

Crisis at the health club.

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

"How long? I stop when I start to smell like bacon."

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer reading 'lightweight gift ideas' magazine

Weight Loss Clinic.

"That makes me very happy!"

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

"Ich habe einen ziemlich miesen DNA-Tag."

"If I were you, I'd put a new hairstyle way way down your list of New Year's Resolutions."

How's the diet going? - 'The first 8 minutes has been tough.' - 'How come?' - 'I had to skip my pre-mid morning post-mini-brunch snack.' - 'I don't think I can take it anymore...' - 'Hang in there, big guy...' -

The World of Exercise Equipment.