Health Journey Challengers Pillows

"That's a big fat lie!"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Dieting Motivation.

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Attack of the 'health' foods

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Scales

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Please seat to be weighted.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."