Health Journey Supporter Pillows

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I've had it with dieting! -- I lost two pounds last week and nobody noticed!'

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"That's a big fat lie!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Effective Cuban vaccines

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Scales

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Woman and scales.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

Exercising in Confinement