Health Intervention Gifts

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

"You won’t need refills."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

How can we improve our health?

Bubbling

Cuba detected a variant of HIV

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

Remember to always brush your teeth!

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

Ebola Clinic

"Out of the way amateur!"

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

'Along with the gusto, you also grabbed high blood pressure and big time cholesterol.'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"