Health Gadget Lover Pillows

"I knew the romance had left our relationship when he bought me a new sphygmomanometer for Valentine's Day!"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'It's the newest endoscopy technique. This ladybug is equipped with a tiny video camera and has been trained to thoroughly explore your nasal passages.'

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

' ... and I'd suggest you spend less time surfing the web.'

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

'Of course it's not downloading your iTunes. That's your 24-hour heart monitor.'

"I feel fine but according to my new watch I might be DEAD!"

'Mom said to keep an eye on you!'

Another successful opertation for "Brett's Bumper Bandage."

"Too much information."

Download the new Klingon cloaking app - stops you being tracked better than a VPN!

"HDTV?"

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

'And you say you check your e-mail on average three or four hundred times a day?'

'When I use my iPod, my implantable defibrillator kicks in.'

"Don't worry, Mr. Jones. The fact that doctors still use pagers doesn't mean the hospital has outdated equipment!"

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

Computer Shop

'This less-weight app is great! It suggested I lie my mobile down on the scale instead of stepping on it myself and look - less-weight!'

"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."

'Fifteen minutes! I want to be famous for one tweet.'

"He'll have the salad."