Health Gadget Guru Pillows

'It's his pacemaker. h3e's not supposed to go near the refrigerator.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Self help acupuncture

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

e-shoes

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Walking Luggage.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'