Health Consciousness Advocates Gifts

'You look good, for a guy in your shape.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Distance to avoid contagion

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Earth and the Coronavirus

Wash your hands

Running

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

AIDS prevention

Start of school year in Cuba 1

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"I don't know where you get this 4 metres from I was lead to believe social distancing was 2 metres!!"