Health Consciousness Promoter Gifts

Man's face obscured by smoke from his cigarette

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Wash your hands

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Running

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Vaccines vs Variants

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"You won’t need refills."

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Bubbling

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

What's really in junk food...

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"We're seeing a lot of Selfie Face Syndrome lately."

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."