Health Promoter Gifts

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Preventive medicine.

Vaccines vs Variants

"You won’t need refills."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

"So much for that publicity stunt."

"That's great, but you still have to walk more."

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

Give and Take.

Vaccination Joy

"Have you considered an ounce of prevention?"

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

'It's not an actual motorcycle. It's an exercise bike. I made it look like one so my husband would actually use it.'

"I'm a weight-loss motivator. I tell people that if they don't eat right and exercise, they will look like me."

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'

Get your shot!

"People worry about what they're giving their children."

Covid-19 Vaccine

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

Alcohol Guideline Amounts: Yobs 304 units.

Summer 2019 vs. Summer 2020

Overweight dumb-bells at a Weight Loss Centre having their weights removed

The Why-Can't-This-Event-Be-In-Miles-Like-Other-Sports-In-This-Country 10K