Health Food Promoter Gifts

'I just stopped by to tell you how much I hate you.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Vaccines vs Variants

"You won’t need refills."

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

'Could we send the broccoli to Haiti?'

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Flood plain or not - it's buggered up the Green Belt status!"

Mom's Diner. Wholesome Food. Grandma's Diner. Free Candy. Free Toys. No Spinach.

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

Bobo, you idiot – the mask has to go over your nose.

Vaccination Joy

'More damn cookies, soda pop and hot dogs!!! Doesn't anyone around here eat healthy.'

'Hi, yourself.'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

City Natural Foods.

'All we are saying, is give peas a chance.'

Free Range Tofurkey.

'If by brussels sprouts and asparagus, you mean cheeseburger and fries, I'm hungry!'

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

"I'm a weight-loss motivator. I tell people that if they don't eat right and exercise, they will look like me."

Meats

"People worry about what they're giving their children."

Curds & Whey. Low Sodium. Fat Free. Instant. Organic. Lite. Brown Sugar. Reduced Fat. No Cholesterol. With Spider Marshmallows. Updating the Classics.

Get your shot!

Radiant