Health Comedy Lover Gifts

"This is the part of medecine I hate, …. Finding there's nothing wrong with someone.''

M.D. The little red pills attack your symptoms while the little green pills create a diversion.

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

The doctor says I've got a virus...

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Side effects may include....'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"I didn't even get a balloon."