Health Comedy Fan Gifts

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Side effects may include....'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I didn't even get a balloon."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'