Health Humor Fans Gifts

"You should relax less."

'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

"The judge offered me a deal. Here for 30 days or a colonoscopy prep."

Finally, after millions of years, evolution solves mankind's smoking problem.

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"You're tests are back. You've got a trick knee."

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

"You are a glutton! I told you to avoid high cholesterol blood!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Side effects may include....'

Turn your head and laugh.

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"