Health Alert Veteran Gifts

Zika Epidemic

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

Bubbling

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

GPs warn against New Year 'fad diets.'

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"Will he be okay?"

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

"Interesting greeting ritual."

'The medication wont cure you, but it's side effects will!'

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"