Hazard Hater Pillows

"Don't worry...with his swing, this is the safest place to stand."

Too much cilantro

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Confucius say: shut up.

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'Are you OK Justin? You don't look very well.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"This is the worst parade ever."

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"

Man at Medical Waste conference says - 'Hello?'

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

Pre-emptive strike against brussels sprouts.

'And to think I worried about safe sex.'

"Where are the fire exits?"

Hazards ALWAYS exist!...

Golfer hits a plane on his drive.

Eyes Open!...

'It's heaven... but the music here sucks.'

"These? From shampoo testing? No it's the weirdest thing I'm really suffering with hayfever this year."

'Let's make a big End-Of-The-World-party! Hey, we wouldn't even have to clear the mess up the next day!'

"There were only two things about Bryan that I simply could not stand - his breathing and is chewing."

"Gawd, I hate these water hazards!!"

'Since this sinkhole showed up, this is an easy par 3.'

Wax Museum - Please do not touch the thermostat.