Hibernate Hater Pillows

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

Too much cilantro

'I hate Mondays.'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"Dang it."

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

'Monday is too far from Friday, yet Friday is too close to Monday.'

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.

"It's not the heat or the humidity. It's the self-recrimination over not finding a way to get out of the city this summer."

"Don't worry...with his swing, this is the safest place to stand."

The Non-Sporting Group

The Walking Dread

"...And as for cards, I've no intention of pouring more money into the capitalists machine, of becoming a dupe of the marketing men!"

"Go on. It's just a formality."

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

Bear: 'I can't sleep, so I'm going to rustle up mid-February snack.'

"It gets rid of the spiders and it doesn't make any noise, so as far as I'm concerned it can stay."

'It's heaven... but the music here sucks.'

"Monday is a horrible way to spend a seventh of your life."

Mondays.

"Gawd, I hate these water hazards!!"

"There were only two things about Bryan that I simply could not stand - his breathing and is chewing."

"Trust me. We won't have to worry about my shadow any more."