Hibernate Humor Fan Pillows

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Welcome Spring.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Night of the Zombonies.

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

tRUMp, Pirate President

No, I don

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"Fish finder."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'