Hazard Dodger Gifts

"I wouldn't reach in there to retrieve your ball. I learned that lesson the hard way."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'Are you OK Justin? You don't look very well.'

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"Caution! This tomato soup combined with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas."

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

You are here... ...Run!!!

Cycling Deaths

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

Enjoying The Garden.

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

"You should have called earlier."

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."