Hazard Dodging Hero Gifts

"I would use a three iron."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Zdeno Chara

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Goalie Wall.

Working in recovery of Hurricane

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

You look like a team player. I like that!

Covid Defender

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'Are you OK Justin? You don't look very well.'

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"Penalty stroke my ***!"

I love hockey!

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"I wouldn't reach in there to retrieve your ball. I learned that lesson the hard way."

Mat Trick

Canadian Jesus

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

I have a balanced financial portfolio and I keep these plants trimmed. Those are my hedging strategies.

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

Man at Medical Waste conference says - 'Hello?'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

Ice Hockey