Haunted Castle Enthusiasts Gifts

Appearance Money

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Ghost School.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ghostship

Welcome Ghost.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Redlaw and the Phantom

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Bookshop - Occult and the supernatural.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"