Hatchling Lover Gifts

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"How can you be out of wings?"

The adoration of the gels.

Taking it easy

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

Chillaxing!

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"I don't get it. We work hard all day and look at this slug."

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

The Mammock

'Our kids come here for the food, for my husband, it's the crayons.'

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

Cat Jealous of Woman Having a Lazy Day.

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

Tired Farmer resting under shade tree.

'Turkey dot com.'

Training punt

"You can keep right on sleeping, dad. We're just gonna use you for a net."

"Julie, are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"It's a key to the city, it's not supposed to be bling, 'Kanye!'"

'Isn't it gorgeous?! Harold refuses to tell me how much it cost him.'

Garden Gifts

'I'm wearing me treasure, rather than burying it!'

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

"Sloth!"