Handcrafted Lover Gifts

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Archimedes statue with a lever

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

Your Home Remodel Team

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Music

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Pottery Slam

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Honestly, madam, every home should have one.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Painting and decorating

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

'I ran into a whittler.'

"Politics has divided everything."

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."

"Now it's high definition!"

"Wow, dad, it's a beaut."