Harmonizer Pillows

'They were identical twins until Jim joined the army and John joined the Peace Corps.'

"No, this is the choir, NOT your backup group."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

French horn.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

A Lightning Conductor.

'Not that sort of rock garden!'

Remote work

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

"That song in your heart has a nice beat to it."

Musician

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

Trumpet and birds

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

A beekeeper with their bees

"Yep. Looks like I'm pregnant again."

"Synchronized sitting"

"My wife provides the scatter cushions and potpourri."

Cellist

Celestial reading lamp.

The real reason we have natural disasters...

'I tried to get rid of his old chair by moving it into the closet.'

'Our counselor thinks we can work it out, but my Feng Shui consultant says I should divorce him.'

'You don't have to tell me I have arrhythmia, man, like I'm a percussionist.'