Hardcore Internetter Gifts

Obsession with the Internet.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Lynching on social media

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Likes: $2.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Man doing a search on a computer

Trick or Tweet

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"The Internet ate my baby!"

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"Home is where the WiFi is."

Cyber Dream

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

I e-bay t-shirt.

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.