Hangover Philosopher Gifts

'Why do they make asprin so blindingly white.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Cats in a bar asking for 'hair of the dog'.

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

'Don't complain now: You were quite happy eating fermented fruit with your friends last night!'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Dude, last night was nuts."

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."