Hands-on Worker Gifts

"Even our job has its own small mercies."

Domestic Superheroes!!

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

Deaths from Coronavirus

Dancing Doctor

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'A word in my office Jones.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

'It's coffee time Earl, take a break.'

Thank you

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'