Haircut Humor Gifts

Robert DeNiro's first part.

BARBER

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Operation Chrome Dome.

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'You went for the highlights then?'

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

'You can't cancel a summit meeting because of a bad haircut!'

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

'Mom, Dad... you're right, it was high time to see the hairdresser!'

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

"Know what I like about this hairstyle? It's a great way to hide my unibrow."

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

"You're a barber. Think of your portfolio as a haircut.... in two weeks it will look better."

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."

Mutant Moontunes - Fringeless Nigel

Data Stick Dreads

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

"Jenkins is leaving next week. Perhaps we should buy him a parting gift..."

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'