Haircut Humor Gifts

BARBER

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Operation Chrome Dome.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'You went for the highlights then?'

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

'Mom, Dad... you're right, it was high time to see the hairdresser!'

'You can't cancel a summit meeting because of a bad haircut!'

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

'I use that to check for combovers.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

Data Stick Dreads

"Hey - a crop circle! Let's land here...."

Mutant Moontunes - Fringeless Nigel

"You're a barber. Think of your portfolio as a haircut.... in two weeks it will look better."

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

"Jenkins is leaving next week. Perhaps we should buy him a parting gift..."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."