Haircut Humorist Gifts

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'You went for the highlights then?'

"Having reviewed her responses in the context of cognitive therapy with a psychodynamic input and some rational emotive behaviour we've concluded that she'd like it a bit longer at the back."

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

Dual fuel deals.

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

'Come back later -- he's grooming his successor.'

Anything for the weekend, sir?

"It's up to you son. . . a haircut or a flea collar!"

"I hope you didn't take too much off the top!"

"You're a barber. Think of your portfolio as a haircut.... in two weeks it will look better."

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

"I'd like a haircut - the one on the right!"

'I bet you show that photo to all your customers!'

Barbecue turns out to be a 'barber queue'.

'Mom, Dad... you're right, it was high time to see the hairdresser!'

'No, you don't look good with a crewcut.'

'That will be seven pounds, Sir, two for the cut and five as a search fee.'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

'You can't cancel a summit meeting because of a bad haircut!'

"I'm just saying, after this haircut, it's difficult to trust you."

'Okay. That looks pretty good.'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I said just a little off the top! I didn't want my wings clipped!'

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Very Critical.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

Not you. Your hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Ed's receding hairline!

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'