Hair Pillows

Curling your hair for no reason

Will Work 4 Conditioner

"Yeah, but I hear they're even uglier without the hair."

"Look! There's a barber!"

Bloody Hippies

Money and hair only seem important when you don't have any!

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'Misled redhead.'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"I'm afraid you've failed abysmally - but try the football clubs."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Horror movies

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

No-Work Orange

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Comedy Cafe

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Stand-up Romcom