Hair Pillows

Curling your hair for no reason

Will Work 4 Conditioner

"Yeah, but I hear they're even uglier without the hair."

"Look! There's a barber!"

Bloody Hippies

Money and hair only seem important when you don't have any!

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'Misled redhead.'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"I'm afraid you've failed abysmally - but try the football clubs."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

'They all want to play the star.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Horror movies

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

No-Work Orange

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Comedy Cafe

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Shampoo.

Stand-up Romcom

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.