Hair Loss Humor Gifts

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Snail Pattern Balding.

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Operation Chrome Dome.

Bald man with a brush on his head

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'Just the usual, thanks.'

BARBER

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

Centurion in a Shower

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

Robert DeNiro's first part.

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

"...and how would sir like it?"