Hair Loss Comedian Gifts

'A bit longer at the back please.'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

The barber

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

Centurion in a Shower

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.