Hair-challenged Humorist Gifts

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Not you. Your hair.

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Snail Pattern Balding.

The barber

Operation Chrome Dome.

Bald Man Overcomb

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Toupee in a tin.

Bobo's Barber Shop

''Just face it - you're going bald.'