Hair-challenged Humorist Gifts

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Ed's receding hairline!

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The barber

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

Bald Man Overcomb

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

Toupee in a tin.

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

Bobo's Barber Shop

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

''Just face it - you're going bald.'