Hairless Humorist Gifts

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

The painful embarrassment of Rorschach Pattern Baldness.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"I just knew you'd like longhair music, Mr. Pruitt."

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'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Not you. Your hair.

Ed's receding hairline!

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Snail Pattern Balding.

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

The barber

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

Bobo's Barber Shop

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.