Habitual Humorists Gifts

"I can't decide what to give up for Lent."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Hipsters"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

The First Fire Stick

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'