Habitual Humorists Pillows

"I can't decide what to give up for Lent."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Hipsters"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"She's a miniature."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"He looks just like your husband."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"