Hobby Humorists Pillows

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

Polly txt speak

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

I will study my speling words...

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'