Hobby Humorists Pillows

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Copycats

Polly txt speak

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

I will study my speling words...

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"