Hobbyist Humorist Pillows

'When I said get a hobby I meant something like stamps.'

A man holds a model ship and a toilet plunger

'You've lots of time on your hands, why don't you takeup knitting....?'

'Calling this room Shunting Yard 2 is not going to get us out of paying the bedroom tax.'

"Did I startle you?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Copycats

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

I will study my speling words...

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"