Traditional Humorist Pillows

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"You're going to hate yourself."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Football Chameleon

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

Three-way mirror

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

Gunswinger

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

Alpine Pipe

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

New Belief Systems

Giraffe painter.

A Women Falls Into A Brook.

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"Shaketh."

Sheepdog

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

Early American Think Tank.

"You must cut down on your smoking."