Habit Haver Pillows

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

You will always find a spot to garden

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Wow, I'm upset. I didn't think I could get upset anymore... crazy."

I'm a bolt, dummy! Does everything look like a nail to you?!

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Addiction Research Centre.

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

The Ten Resolutions

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

New Year's Resolutions

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

Quality Family Time.

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

'Noisemakers are not welcome the morning after a party.'

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"

"Good dog. Good dog."

"I would have gone on a run."

Windows are just for show.

We want to put all our money into bricks.

'I'm down to five a day with this new brand!'