Gymnasium Joker Gifts

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"OK, ready to go again?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Exercising

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Jogging Bottoms

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Long-legged clown...

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

Ants stealing from the picnic.

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

False encouragement.

'It's her signature dish.'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"