Gullibility Expert Gifts

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'It was this big. I swear'

Gullib-Os

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

The Pastrycook and a Greedy Boy

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

Government Politicians, Who Never Ever Lie

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

'You will meet a tall, handsome psychologist who will teat your gullibility.'

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."

'I blame the internet.'

'Huh! There goes Sunday lunch!'

"We interrupt this program because the actors just can't stop giggling."

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)

'...anything else, sir?'

"Make me look like more of a people person, you paint-slinging nitwit."

Laughing like hyenas.

At last, Paul Burrell finds his diary.

"Hey Jefferson, just thought I'd stop by to see if you are actually sick."

The Israelites begin to grumble.

'You look like someone who would believe anything....'

Clairvoyant Here: Monday Evening 7PM. . . (Unless something unforeseen occurs).

One cup of coffee. Sounds like the order of someone who hates her heart, mind and biceps. Why? Is coffee bad for you? But I love it. Fear not. There's some powerful new research you should know about. It's from CARE - Coffee Assessment Research Enterprises. House of Java.net Cybercafe. The research shows coffee helps blood pressure, mental focus, and biceps: The more you order, the more you carry, so it helps muscles. Hold on. I'm skeptical. What exactly is CARE? Who does the research? Who funds

"Is there really a Santa Claus or is that more fake news?"

"Why don't we ever eat out?"

Hadley K., All-Day Sucker.

"Oh, the '94 - the best thing you can say about the '94 is that the '95 was worse."