Gullible Gourmet Gifts

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

'It's all made by stateless people, wanderers, nomads, whose only anchor is cheese.'

"What would you serve with toast?"

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

The four major food groups.

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

"Instead of string beans, can I get brains?"

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

"Some volcano roll!"

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Christmas canape?

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

'Just let it go, kid... You knew this line of work has its risks.'

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'