Guitarist Gifts

'The ants are, my friend, blowin' in the wind - The ants are a blowin' in the wind...'

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

'Did someone call for a shredder?'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Goldilocks drives an audio tech insane.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

Blues artis's daily list

'At least I don't have his life.'

Keith Richards

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Cockerel sings the blues...

Six jazz instruments.

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Bluesman's Hospital - Looking back it does seem kinda stupid to be standing at the crossroads."

'I still have mood swings, but music has given me a way at last to monetize them.'

Jonny B Goode fails his first audition "You know, you play that guitar just like you're ringing a bell! Trouble is we need someone who plays like they're playing a guitar!"

"Thank you Bob. Any questions regarding Bob's presentation on the actuarial tables?"

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Actually, I'm a singer-songwriter bird."

Derek Trucks Susan Tedeschi

'C'mon son! Let me teach you! You know - in case this whole 'medical' thing doesn't work out!'

'This next song is about putting your dreams on hold and doing whatever it takes to pay the rent.'

'Oliver's a very sensitive singer-songwriter.'

Guitar pickin'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

Musicians

"My baby's only got three legs and I got the mange...."

"Rock me baby. rock me..."