Guitar Gifts

'This next song's about spreading risk in a volatile market by diversification.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

We use high frequency sound to get rid of kidney stones.

Goldilocks drives an audio tech insane.

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Accountant sings the blues

Blues artis's daily list

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Honey, he's our son. Now go and get some change."

'C'mon son! Let me teach you! You know - in case this whole 'medical' thing doesn't work out!'

"Actually, I'm a singer-songwriter bird."

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

Standing ovation $5.

The Dog Pound Blues

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

How to smash a guitar.

'The music business.'

'This next song is about putting your dreams on hold and doing whatever it takes to pay the rent.'

Bob Marley

"Seriously, dude, can we put the air guitar aside while we're lurking?"

"Excuse me, but on weekdays at 4 A.M., my wife and I are not so much into the pop music."

'This beauty will give you that British sound. It will convert your nasal twang into proper Queen's English.

"You can't take a solo after every serve."

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Open Mic