Guitars Gifts

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

'Then it's settled. She gets the house, he gets the cars and the video games go to the winner of a game of 'Guitar Hero'.'

Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.

"You dad has spent your college savings account on guitars."

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

Mandolin

Rock musician playing a dog as a guitar

"Oh well, now we can say that music saved our lives..."

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

Chameleon Disguise

"I'm playing 'Guitar Salesman Hero'. Want to give it a try?"

'I'm sorry, but there are no guitars in 'Oom-pah Band Hero'.'

'Don't you like your new Air-guitar son?'

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

'I hate sales meetings on casual fridays.'

Your new hymn seems to be about your sports car and guitar! Yes, it's my take on 'All Things Bright and Beautiful'.

Rock and Roll

Mega Quiz. What's the most popular wind instrument? The air guitar.

Ritchie Blackmore.

Air Guitar vs. Carbon Dioxide Guitar

'Here's a little tune I wrote about the job of chowing down and taking naps...'

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

Man using guitar as golf club.

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"It's an Orville Rickenbacker - Great for recording 'pop' music."

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Robert Fripp

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

Guitarist

He kept up his guitar practise...

Anna Calvi