Guilt Gardener Gifts

"This fish has forced me to confront all the things I did wrong with my last fish."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Bumble Bee

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Growing Love

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

The afternoon shower catches the couple in the tropical garden. The rain shimmers on the flowers that perfume the air. Ryan Beardsley looks into her eyes and whispers. Twig! Watch where you're watering! The humidity begins to affect her mood!

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Pesticide Bunny: Mom! Bunny is eating the pesticide sprayed grass again!

I think we need stronger slug pellets for the garden!

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

In paradise

"You spoil that plant!"

"These hostas are out of control!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."