Guilt Gardener Pillows

"This fish has forced me to confront all the things I did wrong with my last fish."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Bumble Bee

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Biodiversity

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

Growing Love

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Pesticide Bunny: Mom! Bunny is eating the pesticide sprayed grass again!

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

In paradise

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

"These hostas are out of control!"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

I think we need stronger slug pellets for the garden!

"You spoil that plant!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Selective pesticide - to kill only ugly insects (and not butterflies and ladybirds).