Guilt-free Gourmet Gifts

The four major food groups.

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

If you're bothered by the guilt, I can put two scoops of real butter pecan ice cream in one of our Lo-Cal Fat-Free cups.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Kitchen Kapers

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Chocs away.

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"One slice—hold the bread."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Gluten-free Santa

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"It's the gluten-free edition."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

'Just let it go, kid... You knew this line of work has its risks.'

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."